A rather long and very personal life related post for you all today, but I figured that considering the majority of my readers are around the same age as me, this would be relevant and maybe even helpful to some of you? I want to talk about something that's been on my mind for quite a while now, years in fact! And that is the subject of what I'm doing about haulin' my ass out of my parents house once and for all! This is very real for me, so although a lot of you will look at the length of this post and instantly press the "x" in the top corner, I hope you will appreciate the time I've taken to write about something so important to me. I'm sure some of you will be in a much worse position than I am right now, and others will be in a much better position, so please bare that in mind if you do comment on this post.
Back when I was about 18 (I'm now 22) I didn't really have a good relationship with my parents. I was fresh out of college, after failing miserably with my A Level's, and I was constantly rebelling against them; curfew's, rules and their opinions on my friends and general life choices... Oh, and why did I not have a full time job yet?! I could totally understand why they wanted me out, and the feeling was mutual, I vowed that as soon as I got a full time job and got some savings together, I would be outta there! Hopefully moving into a little house or flat with my boyfriend... But alas, 4 years later, with a full time job that I've held down for 3+ years, and a boyfriend of 5 years who is now my Fiance', I'm still living with my parents!
My current living situation
Granted, we all get along much better as a family now, all-be-it a bit tight knit. We are a large family; there's my parents, my 2 brothers (20 and 10 yrs old) and my sister (15 yrs old). In total, 6 of us living in a 3 bedroom semi-detached house in Sedgley, West Midlands. I'm sure you can imagine that space is pretty tight to say the least! I don't stay at home very much nowadays, because my bedroom is filled with bits and pieces for my new place when I move out, so I don't really have anywhere to sleep. Also, for the past 3-4 years I have been stopping at my Fiance's parents house with him, then coming back home on a morning to get ready for work. Unfortunately, as lovely and accommodating his parents are towards me, I'm getting real sick of being stuck in someone else's house with no freedom. I'm not the kind of person to "make myself at home" because of the way I've been brought up to be respectful towards other peoples property and privacy. So this is not exactly an ideal situation for me.
Back in July last year, I had managed to save around £4,000, which I was planning to put forward as a deposit to buy our own house with my boyfriend! Basically, he f****d me over big time and went and brought a brand new car on Finance without even mentioning it to me, which is costing him £250 a month for the next 5 years! I went and did the same... because I thought why should I put all my hard earned money towards a house for us if he's not contributing anything. I found a "nearly new" second hand car, which just happened to be the Ford Focus Zetec in Vision Blue, which I'd been lusting after for years! It's a 2010 registration with just 6,000 miles on the clock for a bargain price - £8,000! I paid off half of it straight away with my savings. My Grandad then very kindly lent me the remaining £4,000 to be paid back over 3 years, meaning I would have paid this off by July 2016. BUT... I've been a very good girl, paying off more than I originally scheduled each month, and I now owe only £2,500, which I have saved like crazy for over the past few months and am paying off this week! So I am now debt free and with a months pay to spare too! Woohooo!
If and when he see's this, he will probably kill me, but it's my blog so I'll write what I like ;) As I say, I've been with my partner for 5 years now. We got engaged in February this year and I thought this would be the turning point for him to finally book his ideas up and start thinking about a future with me! It appears I was wrong. I should mention that I've been lied to too many times, and cheated on by him too, so trust and commitment is a huge issue for me now. I'm not looking for sympathy, I know it was my decision to stand by him, and I'm dealing with it as we go. He was finally beginning to give me the love and attention I deserved, before he bought his new car (mentioned above) without mentioning it or discussing with me, or thinking about how it would damage our financial future plans. I have come to realise over the years that he just hasn't matured yet, and probably still isn't ready to make the move, but I'm standing by him because I'm hoping that eventually he will realise what he has with me - a stable, loving and supportive relationship with a responsible, motivated and independent girlfriend... yeah, that's me ;) haha. But anyway, for now I need to be ready and prepared to just go it alone, which unfortunately means its going to be much harder, both mentally, physically and financially for me. If he does decide to help me out then I'll be happy and very grateful but I'm not holding my breath on that one.
|Image Source (Edited by me)|
Paying my car off, means I barely have any outgoings each month now. £20 a week goes to my parents for board money. I have a SIM only phone contract of £15 a month from Virgin mobile after I downgraded and bought a second hand iPhone 4S ages ago. I also have my younger sisters phone contract in my name at £22.50 a month.
I've been at my current position for over 3 years now which hopefully will put me in a good stable position to apply for a rental property. I work 37.5 hours a week and I'm paid £7 an hour, my gross salary works out at just over £13,500 a year...
Rent + Household Bills Affordability
My salary really is nowhere near enough for me to consider living alone in the current financial climate. Private rent costs are absolutely ridiculous, but I have no other choice. My parent's aren't well off and we practically live week to week, so they aren't able to help me out either, which is totally understandable, so I've gotta earn every penny I need to move out! I could probably apply for a council house due to overcrowding at home, but the waiting list is ridiculous, and other people would have more priority anyway, single mums, people without jobs etc, so I don't see the point. I decided to make myself a little budget list for moving out using an Excel spreadsheet to put everything into perspective, and the results weren't great. I can just about afford to survive, and will have about £10 a week spare. I have looked at some rental prices, and the best I'm going to be able to afford is £350 a month, which will get me a small 1 bed flat.
What I'm doing about planning/budgeting/saving now
I have got my budget list sorted out, and I have a rough idea of what I'll need to save up to get started... including application fees, approximately 1 and 1/2 months rent as a deposit, and a months rent upfront. Not to mention, the things that you need to save money to buy before moving into your new place, the necessities - i.e kitchen appliances (Fridge, Freezer, Microwave, Kettle, Toaster etc) somewhere to sleep. So at the moment I'm back to saving again after paying off my car. I've also been buying bits and pieces if I see them at a good price (plates, cutlery, utensils, towels etc). So my bedroom is full of stuff ready to move!
I currently live in Dudley, West Midlands area. Obviously there will always be the dreams of getting a great, well paid job and up-heaving my roots and finding a nice property for sale in London or some other big city where all the well-to-do people live haha! But being realistic I want to stay as close to where I currently live as possible because of family, work, travelling costs etc. There are tonnes of ways you can look for a new place. You could do the old fashioned way and look in estate agents windows. You could try looking in your local newspapers property section, for me this is the Express and Star and Dudley News (free local paper), but I've been mainly using property search apps on my iPad, such as Zoopla Smarter Property Search and Rightmove Property Search. These are totally ideal and really useful. You can filter your searches based on preferred location, price range, property type, number of bedrooms and even keywords(garden, wood floors etc)! If you like the look of some properties, you can quickly set up an account and save them to "your favourites". You can also set up property alerts, which will send you a notification when a new property is listed based on your preferences. Fantastic!
I am hoping I will be moved out before the end of the year once I have a bit of money together to get my set up. I would like to keep you all updated as I go, so these life update posts will probably become a more regular sight here on my blog, keep your eyes peeled!
I'd also love to know if any of you are maybe in a similar situation, and have you written any posts about it? Or have you found any useful websites or posts about moving out which I could read? :)